Christmas

The first Christmas without mom was actually better that I expected it to be. I assumed that I would be all teary-eyed, all of the time. I didn't shed any tears actually. However, there was the giant empty spot in my heart. That, I know, will never go away, but I was glad that I could be fully present and in the moment for Gabe and everyone else.

This Christmas had a lot of firsts. This was the first day before Christmas Eve and Christmas Eve that I didn't work in forever. It felt a little weird. Since I didn't work though, I was able to help my mother in law and Jasmin make tamales! I had never been able to before. It was nerve-racking, I didn't know if mine were going to turn out good. It didn't take as long as I thought it would though. It took the three of us a few hours to do. Mine actually turned out good, you couldn't tell they were made by a first timer.

 Christmas Eve was spent at my in-laws as usual. I will do another post with those pictures. We took A TON of family pictures. My dad came and spent some time with us as well. That was really nice. It was also really nice to hear my mother in law tell my dad that we were all a family.

We let gabe open presents early because he was getting a little tired. I have never seen a kid get so excited about every present they opened. He was shrieking with joy over everything, even socks! Honestly, no matter how sad I was really feeling, it is truly difficult to not have a smile on your face while looking at your kid's excitement.