Thursday, January 2, 2014

the future


I kinda hate the future and thinking about my future. It kinda makes me panic. I don't really think that I am a good planner (and yet I'm an awesome planner about a lot of things). Even though I am 33, sometimes I still feel like a teenager. Sometimes, I can't believe that I really am 33, a wife and mother.

Anyway, I digress.

The real reason for this post is the possibility that my future will start tomorrow. I am going to see a school about becoming a pharmacy tech. This is not my dream job, however, it will get me going in the right direction. For a long time, I have known that I could not be a nanny forever (especially not for Molly and Conor who are old enough to have jobs themselves). I have just been in denial that I needed to have an education and a goal, and a plan. I don't know if I can start this month for the spring semester, I don't know if it is financially viable. I am glad that I am finally taking a step, an actual step, not just a hypothetical step (I've had a lot of those).

Many years ago, I told my parents that I wasn't going to finish college, I was going to be a nanny and I was happy with that choice. Being a nanny has allowed me a lot of things that a "real" job would not have. I got to watch Gabe grow up and still work. I got to be there for his first time crawling, eating, so many things. All of these memories are at work. I was (still am) very lucky. But, it is time to think outside of nannying. I think I may have broken my parents hearts a little all those years ago when I decided not to finish school. Hopefully, they will both be proud of me. (hopefully I don't chicken out!)

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