Sometimes I feel like I'm really doing a great job at this parenting thing, then there are other times when I feel like I'm completely failing. I guess it's like everything, except that I'm responsible for a human being.
I've noticed that some other bloggers are having this same feeling. There have been some good posts about feeling like a crappy parent from I rock so what and from harper's happenings I know that I shouldn't compare myself, or gabe to the millions of other kids and moms out there, but it's hard. I've always compared myself. I've always tried to see how I measure up to something/someone. Not a great way to live, I know, but it's the truth.
Social media is somewhat to blame for my feeling inadequate. While it's great to see what other moms/kids are up to, it can also make you feel pretty shitty about yourself, "why isn't my kid drawing a circle" or "why can't my kid count?" It's moments like those, or when I can't even get gabe to eat two bites of pasta that isn't Mac and cheese, that I wonder.
There are the great moments of mommyhood, when I see that gabe can recognize shapes, even weird shapes like ovals, and I'm so proud of me and of him. Then there are the moments when I yell or get frustrated and those are the HARD moments. There are moments when I feel guilty that he's spend a majority of the day in front of the tv, but then he tells me about bulldozers moving rocks and dirt (200 times), and then I feel kinda ok, because he learned something new.
I know this was a bit rambling, sorry. It's tough being a parent (and a blogger) and realizing that you aren't 100% right all of the time, and your kid may not be like another kid, but that doesn't mean he's not a smart, sweet, wonderful kid that you get to call your own.
-jen
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