Monday, March 4, 2013

Body image

So, ever since I was pregnant (so almost three years) I've been having even more body issues than ever before. I know that I've always had hang ups about the way that I look...well once I hit my 20s at least...but I've been in a really low place since pregnancy.
I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I was up to 202 for my highest weight (while 9 months pregnant). I lost some weight with all of the pumping I did, but the weight didn't really come off until Gabe's first summer. By the end of summer 2011, I was around 160. Now, I'm around 155. I lose a few pounds here, gain a few pounds there, and always seem to wind up back at 155. This is about 20 pounds from where I'd actually like to be.
Every weekend I complain or ask Jorge if I'm fat. I don't like my body, I don't like the way clothes fit my body, no matter what size I buy. *on a positive note, I don't wear yoga pants everyday anymore, sometimes not even once a week!* Back to my point...I think that my unhealthy body image has rubbed off on Sidney. I noticed that she didn't eat a lot this weekend. Then, Jorge and I learned that she joined a gym, and not as a family membership. She asked her mom to join a gym. She is athletic and not overweight or unhealthy. Her mom makes healthy meals all of the time. I try to make healthy meals, not super super healthy, but not take out all weekend long.
I feel so bad that my bad body image has rubbed off on her. From this moment I am going to try to be a better role model for her.

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