My ager can take different forms. Sometimes, I walk around moving things and muttering under my breath. I swear. I say things that I don't really mean. Then there are the times when I totally lash out....blood boiling, fists clenched and screaming.
Here's the thing. After I get so angry at someone/something else, I get angry at myself. I think that I'm crazy for getting so mad. But in the moment...watch out! Alot of the times, my angry outbursts are followed by tears. Not only am I an angry person at times, I am just an all around emotional person, crying at commercials.
Today, was one of those days. I was not at my best. It was a long, busy weekend where I felt like things I wanted to do didn't get done. I didn't get alot of sleep and I was set off by the stupidest little thing. I lost my cool. Then I cried because I lost it. I feel so messed up. Sometimes, I wonder if I should go see someone. I don't want to be on medication though, and I think alot of times that is the first answer. I'm sure they are helpful, I just don't want them. I want to be emotional, to feel, just not quite so strongly all of the time.
Is there someone out there who has some advice? I could really use some. Thanks.
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