Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Anger management

Ok. I admit it. I have anger issues. Sometimes, over the littlest thing, I will get super angry. Most of the time, it is at work. The other half of the time, it's directed at my family. Not gabe, but Jorge and other family members.

My ager can take different forms. Sometimes, I walk around moving things and muttering under my breath. I swear. I say things that I don't really mean. Then there are the times when I totally lash out....blood boiling, fists clenched and screaming.

Here's the thing. After I get so angry at someone/something else, I get angry at myself. I think that I'm crazy for getting so mad. But in the moment...watch out! Alot of the times, my angry outbursts are followed by tears. Not only am I an angry person at times, I am just an all around emotional person, crying at commercials.

Today, was one of those days. I was not at my best. It was a long, busy weekend where I felt like things I wanted to do didn't get done. I didn't get alot of sleep and I was set off by the stupidest little thing. I lost my cool. Then I cried because I lost it. I feel so messed up. Sometimes, I wonder if I should go see someone. I don't want to be on medication though, and I think alot of times that is the first answer. I'm sure they are helpful, I just don't want them. I want to be emotional, to feel, just not quite so strongly all of the time.

Is there someone out there who has some advice? I could really use some. Thanks.

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