Tuesday, November 15, 2011

No more

This is one of the best days of my entire life. I never want to do it again.

I know, just wait until gabe is older, and you may change your mind. I won't. Some reasons are selfish ones, some reasons are crazy, some reasons are logical.

As far as the selfish reasons, I really don't want to be pregnant again. I gained ALOT of weight that I am still working on shedding. I had swollen feet and ankles. The scariest for me was the high blood pressure. I would have mini panic attacks at each doctors visit because of my blood pressure. One visit, I even started crying because they were concerned. It never was high enough to induce labor and I didn't have pre eclampsia but I was still nervous and scared. I definitely would not want to have that worry again. Also, I just miss my old body.

A crazy reason is that gabe is such a good baby/kid that I would be afraid that we would have a devil baby. Seriously! I know it's crazy but I'm afraid it would happen. Either that or gabe would be so jealous that he would turn into the crazy kid.

Another crazy reason is breastfeeding. I know, crazy! Gabe wouldn't breastfeed. I don't know if I have mentioned it, but I pumped like a crazy person. I pumped every two hours. I pumped soooo much that I was pumping more milk than gabe could even drink. I froze a lot of milk. I pumped almost 30oz one time! (that's as much as some babies drink in one day, and I did it in one pumping). So, the question would be, do I try to breastfeed, pump or just buy formula? It was an emotional thing for me to pump. I felt like it was the only way I was really caring for gabe. Crazy i know. So, I don't want to have to think about that situation again.

A logical reason is that Jorge has one of each. In five years Sidney will be graduating high school. It would be strange for us to have another kid then. Also, financially it would be difficult. We would have to have funds for a newborn and a college student.

So, I have made the decision that gabe is wonderful. I have never loved someone as much as I love him (except Jorge). I am so exceedingly happy that I don't need to have another child. I am so lucky to have gabe and Sidney and Jorge. We are a perfectly unperfect little family and I wouldn't want to change a thing.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

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